| sadomasochism | roleplay | props and toys | miscellaneous |
before proceeding any further.
Here are some suggestions.
Girls, get yours hands on that copy of "Cosmopolitan" *right now*! If you live in the UK, have a look at "More!" magazine as well, especially 'position of the fortnight'. A more useful tool for creativity I have yet to come across. In any case, there are various positions that the Slayer and her vamp would be happy to try out.69-er: The requirements are a nice flat surface and a willingness to explore those naughty bits. For those not in the know, a 69-er is where the couple lie on the floor, facing each other, with head to, er, tail (hence the expression 69-er). It's simultaneous oral sex, and it's very much enjoyed by both participants.
SPOONS: Where the man is tucked behind the woman, while she lies on her side with her legs slightly drawn up. The description comes from the way spoons are stacked. The added advantage of this is that it leaves the man's hands free to explore the woman's breasts and clitoris while he is still in her. To those who write about stimulation of the clitoris while in the missionary position - trust me, it's not as easy as it sounds!
GIRLS ON TOP: The woman gets to straddle the bloke. Lots of fun for all involved, especially because, if the thrusts are timed correctly, the head of the guy's penis should rub against the clitoris with each movement. All hail friction.
LAP: No, not licking. *g* The woman sits in the guy's lap, facing whichever way works best, and is the one who does most of the pumping. This is a very, um, easily managable variant of the 'GIRLS ON TOP' as it means that the woman simply has to remove her panties, and the guy just has to unzip his trousers for this to work. Of course, the other positions are also managable with most clothes still kept on, but this one can be done while on the go, as the saying goes. *g*
SPLITS: Starting off in the missionary position, the guy leans back to allow the woman to slip one (or both) of her legs up onto his shoulders. This works best when there isn't a great difference between the length of the woman's legs and the guy's torso. This position is also employed for anal intercourse, especially in m/m encounters. However, the added friction guarantees it to be a favourite for f/m couples as well.
STANDING: Especially in the shower. Lots of fun. However, wrapping the legs around the waist and being carried while all this is going on is strictly for couples with extreme size and weight differences (e.g. ice-dancing couples). Spike and Buffy *might* be able to manage it, however, as he's very strong and she's very light, so go for it!
WHEELBARROW: Sounds strange, yes, I know. However, it works (and is very unusual indeed *g*). Basically, the woman goes up on her hands, then leans back against the bloke, until her legs are wrapped around his waist. Once he's in her, she would be able to move about on her hands, which guarantees lots of friction, in addition to the strange angle of entry. Lots of fun for all concerned, and if the couple are as strong as Spike and Buffy, the 'movement' involved can be very, er, vigorous. *g*
Of course, if you're feeling adventurous, there's no reason why you can't explore the darker side of things. Invest in some good "BDSM" books and read up on things if you're not familiar with either bondage or sadomasochism. Contrary to popular belief, the two do *not* go hand in hand. You can try out bondage without ever approaching SM (however, trying out SM without a little bit of bondage is unusual in the extreme). In any case, here's a short run-through of things that have to be remembered.
Bondage is much more common than people think. It *doesn't* mean whips and chains, although they may be employed. Think a silk scarf tied around the wrists of the man as he's spreadeagled on the bed, while the woman crawls up his body to have her wicked way. Think blindfolds and seduction. Think even - god forbid! - handcuffs, and the fun you can have with them. In "The Harsh Light of Day", Spike mentions to Harmony Drusilla's penchant for manacles. Surely the boy wouldn't abandon those little toys when he gets together with the Slayer? And she strikes me as one to be adventurous enough to try something like that out, anyway.That's bondage. It can be mild, or it can be extreme. It can involve chains and leather, or it can involve silk and feathers. Dominance and submission is something else entirely. If you're at all puzzled, I suggest having a look around the 'net for the more, um, academic perspectives on the dom/sub culture. "Extreme Space: The Domination and Submission Handbook" by F.R.R. Mallory is also particularly highly recommended as a dry (ignore the pun) and surprisingly in-depth look at that culture. We're not talking porn here. More like an anthropological study by people involved in the scene itself.
Buffy and Spike both strike me as very dominant people in real life, but that may simply mean that they wish to be domina*ted* in the bedroom. It's a relinquishing of control, for however short a period of time. Most dom/sub couples have the male as a dominant, and the female as the submissive. Sometimes, the couple takes turns. Neither of these inclinations is in any way 'perverted' or 'sick'. Don't try and judge things you are not familiar with. These things also do not affect the person outside of the bedroom.
Basically, pretty much anything goes if you're writing a dom/sub sex scene. However, one thing that seriously irks me is when the dom is addressed as 'Master' or 'Mistress'. Those titles are only given to people who are so entrenched int he culture that they are universally recognised as being artists in what they do. The titles are not just handed out randomly. Once again, this is less of a problem in the Buffyverse (probably because of the unfortunate connotations attached to the word 'Master'), but especially in X-Files fic is particularly irksome. Also annoying is the tendency to label the sub as a 'slave'. They are *not* slaves! A slave is some one who *voluntarily* relinquishes complete control of themselves, both inside and outside the bedroom, to their 'Master'. Indeed, that situation is the only one in which the titles of Master and slave can be correctly used.
IMO, neither Buffy nor Spike will ever get to that stage. To be a slave, you *voluntarily* give up any and all directions you wished to take your life in. Spike wouldn't have done that while he was still able to feed, and Buffy can *never* do that, as she is The Chosen One. After Spike is neutered, he *could* have chosen to take on the role of slave. Would he? I doubt it. To make that decision takes a lot of deliberation, an intense level of trust, and a desire to relinquish all control. I seriously doubt that Spike and Buffy knew each other well enough to even attempt something like that.
On to the *voluntary* aspects of dominance and submission highlighted previously. The dom/sub culture has few rules. They are seperated into hard rules and soft rules. Soft rules are defined by each individual couple, and can be pushed or broken with the consent of both participants. Hard rules can never be broken, by anyone in the culture. One of these rules is *consent*. Kidnapping someone and tying them to the bed, proceeding to dominate them and perhaps arouse them in the end is *not* dominance/submission. Why? Because it wasn't *consentual*. It may end up as voluntary, in which case the issues get muddied, but if the person is forced into such a position without their express permission, then it's an *assault*, no two ways about it.
The other two hard rules are safety and sanity. That means nothing that will permanently hurt the person (this moves into the realm of sadomasochism), and nothing involving anyone or anything that cannot choose for themselves. This means paedophilia, bestiality or necrophilia. People who choose to participate in those activities are *not* part of the dom/sub culture, no matter what they say. They are violating some of the cardinal rules. Necrophilia, in particular, is a tricky subject when dealing in Buffyfic (as is bestiality when writing Willow/Oz fiction), but that *can* be explained away. *Those* dead are animated, conscious, and, well, undead. They're not inert corpses, decomposing somewhere. And this topic is quickly freaking me out, so let's not even *go* there, okay?
In short, having observed the aspects of both Buffy and Spike's personalities that compels them to try and control (to be the Alpha in their social groups), it would be a fair assessment that they would be bolder than most in trying out new things. One of those things might be bondage and/or dom/sub culture. This is not to say that quiet people are not involved, or, indeed, that all confident Alphas *are*, so don't freak about this, okay?
Sadomasochism, as mentioned previously, is something completely different. I don't feel confident that I'm at all familiar with the subject to try and advise people in how to write it, but here's a quick run-down for those at a complete loss.
First off, I'd like to stress that I don't actually indulge in anything like this. Asking me complicated questions about it will get you nowhere. Asking me for tips will get you zip as well. This is all I know. Okay? If you're interested, I suggest going to your local library and doing a bit of research.That said, there are certain parts of SM that are well known. The pain factor. The *extreme* pain factor. Contrary to popular opinion, those two do *not* go hand in hand. Sadomasochism is a term that was created by the merging of two words: sadism and masochism. Sadism is the desire to inflict pain on other. Masochism is the desire to have pain inflicted on yourself. It is *not* a form of self-flaggaration. It is *not* for those suicidal. It is for people who feel that their pleasure centres are stimulated by measured doses of pain. Sadism is also for people who feel that they 'get off' on the sensation of being so much in charge that they can harm the person under their power, if they wish. This 'harm' should *not* be permanent. *Never*. There is no excuse for torture - unless it is voluntary, of course. *g* Then again, the question of sanity crops back up. If someone wants the skin to be torn off their back, can you justify it to yourself to do that, even if they want it?
Enough of the moral questions. Props used for SM include masks, leather, whips, paddles and other instruments. More on those in the 'PROPS AND TOYS' section. I think (notice the *I* bit in there - this is just my personal opinion) that, taking into account their true natures, vampires would be very much into the SM scene. That doesn't mean that they will automatically be the ones in charge. I read a brilliant fic with just that one-off line that stuck in my head - that, despite what people thought, when Angelus and Drusilla were alone, *she* was the one in charge, and *she* was the one delivering all the pain. Being so much in charge and so vicious outside the bedroom, Angelus felt the need to be dominated and, well, 'punished' inside the bedroom, by the very person he pushed around in the real world. That is not to say that we will ever know Angelus' true inclinations, but that kind of uncertainty can lend colour even to the most boring of sex scenes. Who is the one really in charge? Buffy or Spike?
On the one hand, he *enjoys* delivering pain. On the other hand, maybe that doesn't stretch as far as the bedroom. Maybe Buffy wants him to take charge and prove his dominance of her by whipping her, or paddling her, or leaving her chained up long after the position has ceased to be comfortable. Maybe she wants to punish him for being a wise-ass for three years instead. Whatever. It's powerplay, and those two certainly have a lot of scope. As long as the pain delivreed isn't too extreme, it is safely in the area of 'mainstream'. Nearly 50% of Americans have some sort of bondage and/or SM gear in their bedroom. I say, kudos to them. *g*
Domination/submission and sadomasochism leads directly onto the next subject - 'ROLEPLAY'. That is the most common form of BDSM evident in American households. That doesn't mean to say that either Buffy or Spike will indulge in it, but.... oh, you know what I mean. maybe they do, maybe they don't. Here's the possibilities.
Dress up? Go for it. Buffy as a police officer, arresting a reticent Spike? Why not. Roleplay is one of the most flexible and inventive activities to indulge in, in or outside the bedroom. There really isn't a lot to say about this, except perhaps - let your imagination run wild! Buffy and Spike aren't exactly repressed. Let them have a little fun! If Buffy wants to dress up in leather and pretend she's a vampire to escape her fears (see "Nightmares"), then, why not? The only difficulty here is to try and keep it sexy and interesting - what may *seem* sexy when you're carrying it out often has the unfortunate tendency to sound very silly indeed once it's on paper (trust me ont his). Anyway, the only way to get around this is to practice, practice, practice! (I meant writing, not..... oh, never mind.)And, of course, you can always delve into the toy chest and come up with some props to assist...
Some things to contemplate...PADDLES, WHIPS, ETC: For when one of the pair, um, 'misbehaves'.
FOOD: Think "9 ½ Weeks". Think chocolate syrup and ice cream on Spike's stomach or Buffy's nipples. Think olive oil to assist in a hand job (but *not* as a lubricant....). Think strawberries. Think ice-cubes. These people live in houses with kitchens and fridges - be imaginative!
VIBRATORS: Or any other similar object. Dildoes. Strap-ons. Need I go on?
OUTFITS: This really falls under the 'ROLEPLAY' section, but anyway.... French maids. Policemen. What do you want to see Spike and Buffy wear? Really? Then, for goodness' sake, *write* it!
HANDCUFFS: Silk scarves. Manacles. Cages. Blindfolds. All those lovely things that Spike undoubtedly has.
Of course, some things don't fall into neat little categories.
To quote "Minx" magazine - "Is there a room in the house in which you haven't made love in yet? There is? That is *so* wrong!"In any case, have fun - go for darkness, go for comedy, go for suspense - whatever, as long as you break the rules once in a while. I mean, *look* at the couple. Do they look like a pair that would colour inside the lines?Indeed. We have the catacombs. We have the kitchen. We have the *bathroom*, for goodness' sake. Why do people end up in bed? Where' the adventure? Setting makes for half the scene. If it's in the kitchen, think of the food laying around. Think of the coldness of the counter tops, think hot cups of tea knocked over, think of the danger of other people walking in!
Yet, the little mishaps in sex is what makes it all so much fun to participate in (and write and read). Who wants a perfectly boring missionary position in the bd with the lights off? *So* boring after a while. Think plot twists. Maybe when Spike and Buffy have their familiar shag in the park, they get caught - for once. Maybe the bathtub in Giles' apartment can be put to good use - and then the G-man returns. Maybe other people are invited to join in. Maybe bloodplay is involved - we *are* talking about vampires, after all. Maybe - shock! Horror! - someone actually remembers to put on a condom! Wow!
And if you have any suggestions to go on this page (or want to argue with something), then, by all means, contact me and say so! I want to improve my writing as much as the next person!
